FIRST IMPRESSIONS

embarrassingly
I have only the vaguest memory
of being born

it’s the moments after
that have stuck with me

I was less than an hour old
when I reached out
to shake my father’s hand

this being
our first time
meeting

I was aghast
when he
made the unforgivable mistake

of using his left hand
to shake my right

to add insult to injury
he also made a
high-pitched cooing noise

not quite becoming
of the formal hospital setting
we had found ourselves in

I demanded
that the nurses
escort this family out
and switch me

with another family’s baby.

the next family arrived
and please remember
this is the first time
I’m meeting any of these people

the next father
went in for a hug
wildly inappropriate

so again
I demanded a switch
thankfully
switching babies
was considered good sport at the time.

I was introduced
to the third family
held out my hand
the father reached out his

and in one move
wrapped his great-grandfather's watch
around my wrist

attention soldier
he said
at ease
he continued
finally
some respect

off with my new family I went

I’d go on
to lead a full life
bouncing between
the public and private sector