TYSON FURY

no one took me seriously
until I became friends
no one took me seriously
until I became friends
no one took me seriously
until I became friends
no one took me seriously
until I became friends
with Tyson Fury

everybody laugh at me
but then
my best friend
is Tyson Fury
my best friend
is Tyson Fury

people laugh
when I walk
I take bus
conductor thought
evil thought
but then
my best friend
is Tyson Fury
my best friend
is Tyson Fury

one day
whilst delivery driver
I meet Tyson Fury
I meet Tyson Fury

he was lifting
car tires
above his head
with the cars still attached
the cars still attached
to the tires

I delivered him
an A-grade
readymade
tree trunk
for him to chop with his axe

while he inspected
I sat in silence
I’m comfortable with silence

then
he told me
he was best friends
with Jason Mamoa

Jason Mamoa
Jason Mamoa
Jason Mamoa
Jason Mamoa
Jason Mamoa
Jason Mamoa
Jason Mamoa

I said
I bet
they made
quite the pair

he said they did
he made hints
that he and Mamoa
were thinking
of starting a trio
local to the area

he asked what I was doing later
I said not much, nacho, TV
he said why not come with me

where I said
he said UFC
Ringside
high class
Las Vegas

I said,
my mother
requires daily care

he said to ask a friend
to help for the night

I said
but you’re my only friend

Tyson Fury
Tyson Fury
Tyson Fury
Tyson Fury
Tyson Fury
Tyson Fury
Tyson Fury
Tyson Fury

but not out loud
not yet

so,
I made arrangements,
thanks to my mother
being quite excited
at the prospect
of a night
alone

Tyse asked
how’d you like to travel?

I said
Concorde

Concorde it is
they said
Concorde it is
Concorde it is
Concorde it is
Concorde it is
Concorde it is

they went with my preference
that’s what real friends do

I went to Las Vegas
with Fury and Mamoa

Big ‘Dris met us at the entrance

I asked how long he’d been waiting
no time at all, he said

Big Dris had made us
all our own
crew jackets

if things weren’t official now
then when would they be

but still
I kept my cool

I put mine on

then the lads
started to high five me non stop

I let slip
that my hand hurt

Mamoa said
that’s just the feeling
of the muscles
getting stronger

getting stronger
getting stronger
I’m getting stronger

I looked down
and my hand
had grown ten times the size
but all muscle

cock of the walk I was

the jacket
had a lot of freedom
in the shoulders

perfect for the new
power pose
I’d been working on
in my spare time

I showed the boys
they were impressed
to say
the least

the fight was delayed
and then delayed

it was about to be cancelled
they were missing
a fighter

when news broke
the boys looked at me

I stepped into the ring
the cool way

I held the rope
with both hands
and flipped
over and into the ring

I let loose with all the karate I had

I took the belt home that night

then Tyson Fury
got serious with me

he said
He wanted me in his crew for life

but first
there’s a leap I’ll have to take

so we
flew
to
The Democratic Republic of the Congo

in a helicopter,
another one of the
lads,
Bruce Wayne,
had put on
for us

Bruce,
I know him. Yeah
he’s a good guy
one of the lads.
he’s quite quiet.
cos he’s lost his parents,
but
he’s a good guy

as we crested
I knew
what we were there to do

we touched down on
The Mikeno Volcano

as we stood at that precipice
we all held hands

without communicating
we levitated
one cubic inch off the Earth

then
all as one
we swooped down
down deep into the crevasse

catching the wind just right
one body
one mass

mid-flight,
as we laughed
a tear built up
in my eye

it could have been the speed we were going
so much air was hitting my eyeballs

but no
it was a tear

I felt at peace
Accepted
one of the boys

then Mamoa remembered
he’d forgotten to
feed his lambs

we all agreed
that we
would pitch in

a man feeds his lambs
after all

so well
as a group
we threw on our cable knits
and rode back down the hill on our horses

who’s
gonna carry
the boats

who’s
gonna carry
the boats

who’s
gonna carry
the boats

who’s
gonna carry
the boats

no one knows me
like you know me
Tyson Fury

(fade out)